Sorry folks for the delay. I've been very busy lately, but that's another story. Moving on with the story...

Patrick left that night, after the bon.
Nick and I were left at the bon.
"It's cold tonight," Nick said.
"Yeah, to think that it was really hot this afternoon." I said.
"Remember our first date?"
"That night when we snuck out of rooms?"
"No."
"Wait, we've dated before that?"
"Yes-huh!"
"Nu-uh!"
"Yeah, we did. Haha. Remember, we had our breakfast together?"
"Was that a date?"
"I would consider it one!"
"OK, proceed."
"It was cold that morning, and I usually hate cold weather."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"I don't know.. cuz it's cold tonight?"
"Would you like to sit closer?"
"And cuddle you? No, sir. Thanks." Nick laughed and moved next to me. "It's cold!"
"I know you would say that!"
"So you really know me that much, huh?"
There was a pause.
"No, I still don't know much about you, Nick." I said.
"So how come we're together now? I mean why are you dating me?"
"I-I don't know." It was my most stupid answer ever.
"You don't know? What the hell? What is this a joke?"
"Hey, calm down!"
"No, I won't calm down, Troy. Tell me: Why do you love me? Or do you even love me?"
"You know what? This is stupid. I'm gonna get inside. It's late already."
"Troy, you still haven't answered me."
"Nick, I just do! Ok?" I was crying,
"You just do? Well, that's not valid."
"You know what? This is not making any sense anymore. I'm leaving. We'll talk tomorrow."

I left the farm. I was in the middle of nowhere. Why the hell is this happening? I thought everything was going smoothly, I thought it was perfect. It is true that I loved Nick, and not a single word could justify why I do. I broke down crying in the middle of the road. Then, everything went blurred. The next day, I woke up in my cousin's room.
"What happened?" I asked Julian.
"Dude, you were wasted last night when you called. It was funny though. We found you crying. What the hell happened?"
"Uhmm, Jules, could you drive me back to where you found me last night. I have to do something really important."
Julian drove me back, and made my way to the hut. As I was getting closer, I started hearing giggles. When I opened the door, I saw Nick and Patrick kissing and fondling each other. It was the most heartbreaking scene that I've seen in my entire life.

"What the hell is this?" I asked.
"Troy!? I could explain!" Nick said.
"Troy-" Patrick was about to say something.
"You better shut the fuck up, Patrick." I said,
"Troy..." said Nick.
"This explains a lot about last night, Nick."
"I'm sorry. I really am."
"No, I'm sorry, Nick. I should've known. I'll go pack."
Nick left the hut and I proceeded to the bedroom to pack up my stuff. Patrick came and sat next to me.
"Troy, I - well, I don't know how to start this,,, uhmm, everything that happened between you and Nick was just a game. It was a bet between him and I. It started way back during summer camp. He spotted you staring at him. After he saw that you were my roommate, we made a bet that he could date you by the end of summer camp."
I was in pain. I was crying my ass off. It was too much to handle. I hurriedly finished packing my stuff and left. Nick was right outside the door when I came out of the hut, Patrick was behind me. I stared at his blue eyes. It was as if I was asking him "why?"
"You told him?" Nick asked Patrick.
"Well, he already -" Nick punched him on the face. Even thought it sounded somewhat heroic, I didn't care much about it. I started walking away from the farm, again. But this time, it was for real.

That afternoon, Patrick dropped by.
"What are you doing here? Everything's done." I said. "Nick and I were through! You can have him now."
"It's not done. Nick chose you, Troy. He DOES love you,"
Silence.
"Are you done?" I asked. "Cuz you can leave now."
Patrick was about to leave when he said, "I'm sorry I ruined everything. For you and for Nick." Then he left,

I decided to go back home that night, and move on never to return to Modesto again. On my way out of my aunt's house, I saw Nick there. Waiting. 'Well, If I wanna move on, I have to talk to him and settle things once and for all' I told myself. So I went out to talk to him.
"Would you like to drive around?" asked Nick.
I got in to his red truck. Everything came back to me. The day Nick and I were going to Modesto from San Leandro, We were so happy, and so in love - or so it seemed.
"So you're leaving." said Nick.
"Yes. There is no reason for me to stay here."
"Am I not enough?"
"I thought you were. But then I realized that I am better off without you. After tonight, I'm getting rid of you, Nick. I don't wanna remember you anyomore."
"Just like that? What about us?"
"We're though. It wasn't even supposed to happen."
"look, about the bet -"
"Don't you think you've done enough damage, Nick?"
"Look, I called off the bet after the breakfast."
"You made me look like a fool. The dance. THAT night. The pen, the notes. The email. The sex. Nick, everything was a game. I know it now."
"Troy, I love you!"
"No you don't. You LOVE yourself. Have a good life, Nick."

That was the last time that I've seen Nick. A few months later, I graduated from high school and entered college. I never had a relationship with anyone until this semester. But, as I've said, it's another story.

I was in a chat room recently, when I got an IM from Nick.
Nick: How'd you been?
Troy: Never been better.
Nick: Sorry.
Troy: What for?
Nick: Everything.
Troy: I've moved on.
Nick: I haven't.
Troy: Sorry to hear that. But hey, you have to stop dwelling in the past.
Nick: Can I visit you one time?
Troy: I don't think that's a good idea. There's someone out there who loves you more than I did,
Nick: Did? Well, who's he?
Troy: Pat.
Nick: Pat's not here anymore. He's gone.
Troy: College?
Nick: He died in a car accident.
Troy: Sorry to hear that.

It was then when my current boyfriend came in.
"Hey, hon! Let's get going." Said my boyfriend.
"I'll be there!"
I shut my computer down. That was the last time that I had a conversation with Nick. The last and probably the final. I thought my relationship with Nick was the answer to everyone's dream. But after what happened, I started to acknowledge it as a nightmare. I just recently realized that it happened for a reason: without my relationship with Nick, I wouldn't be able to come out to some of my friends and have not met the man that I love today - with all the right reasons that I know of!